Introduction

Saying no to yourself can be a difficult task, but it's essential if you want to change your life for the better. Rejecting feelings that don't serve you can free up your head space to focus on more important things— Or simply the task at hand.

Your life is busy, you need your headspace. 

Feeling a strong emotion such as self-pity or pleasure should not dictate why you act a certain way towards another person.

For example, just because you feel angry and shouting at your significant other does not mean you should.

A strong feeling is not always a correct indicator for decision-making.

Whether you're looking to take control of your emotions or want to make smarter life choices, read on.

 

Saying no to yourself is a habit.

Most habits are trainable but hard to break.

There is no "magical" solution; you have to take a set of actions and then optimize those actions over time. 

And if you ever doubt yourself, think about the outcome— the person on the other side of that struggle.

That individual will be able to set boundaries with themselves (and, more importantly, others) and solidify what's truly important in their life. This can be used for anything from relationships to handling adversity or cooperating with disrespectful co-workers.

It's counterintuitive, but focusing on the task at hand and forgoing your immediate tinge of emotion will be more beneficial for you than succumbing to them. After numerous repetitions and the power of compounding, you will find it easier to keep your emotions in check because you have trained yourself.

Training yourself is key. 

 

Seductive sirens of self-pity

Negative self-talk is a common enemy of trying to live and achieve a fulfilled and successful life.

Getting caught up in negative thoughts such as self-doubt and anxiety can be easy.

… But it can be even easier to give into those Machiavellian emotions.

We all go through difficult times from time to time. But when self-pity starts to take over, things can get tricky.

This seductive siren of self-pity is a dangerous force that can lead to negative decision-making, complex relationships, and, perhaps, depression. 

We empathize with you because we are human, we each get these pangs of pain and anxiety but it is our duty to learn how to deal with them. 

Try to break free from this trap and say NO to that self-pity and start practicing self-compassion. The mental attitude of kindness and understanding towards yourself allows for a better flow of energy and decision-making.

Simply put, be kind to yourself, regardless of how you feel. 

Give yourself time and space to process things correctly— To learn from your mistakes.

... To grow.  

One of the biggest problems with self-pity is that it leads to a cycle of negativity and these cycles can feel like you opened Pandora's box with no way to close it.

Been there, done that, nothing going back

When you start giving yourself a break and acknowledging that you're a human that makes mistakes, it becomes much more challenging for self-pity to take control. You're more likely to set boundaries and stick to healthy habits— No matter what life throws your way.

 

Stop Justifying Your Bad Behavior

It's easy to justify your bad behavior.

We tell ourselves that we're doing it for the "good" of our loved ones. But in reality, we are doing it for self-gratification and ego.

Totally understandable, we’ve all been there before.

This can be applied too many contexts, including (but not limited to) our eating habits, relationships with loved ones, and even our relationship with ourselves.

Many of us enjoy acting on our impulses, disregarding all the potential consequences of what's to come down the line. It's easy to get caught up in the moment.

That's human nature. 

But by saying no to our destructive thoughts and self-gratifying pleasures, we can gradually develop impulse control, learn to be more self-aware, and understand our own needs better.

This mind set will help you make better decisions in time and can lead to a more fulfilling life.

 

Conclusion

Saying no to yourself can have a profound impact on your life.

By taking control and making decisions based on what is best for you (not what emotions you are feeling at that moment), you can start being a better version of yourself.

Scratch that.

… You can start to work towards that better version.

And starting is always the hardest step.